My Lady Parts by Doon Mackichan – review

Smack The Pony star recounts the hazards of a career in show biz


Book cover of My Lady Parts by Doon MackichanDoon Mackichan has had a long and varied career in show business. She was one of the geniuses behind Smack The Pony and was outstanding in the TV sitcom Two Doors Down. She also appeared in Brass Eye, Alan Partridge, Plebs and stage shows such as Boeing-Boeing and David Mamet’s Bitter Wheat with John Malkovich. She will shortly be joining Kristen Scott Thomas and Lily James in Lyonesse.

However, if you’re expecting My Lady Parts to be the typical show biz autobiography with amusing anecdotes about working with famous names, you will be disappointed. And while I’m telling you what this book is not, perhaps I should say that, for someone who started her career as a stand-up comedian and who has written and appeared in so much great comedy, there aren’t many laughs.
What it is, is an almost continuous indictment of the misogyny that she and other women have experienced in show business. The catalogue of men undermining her and discriminating against her over her 40 year career is shocking. I hope (in vain) that the men she describes in this book, and others who have behaved in similar ways, read it and feel ashamed.
The title is clearly meant to grab attention but what it refers to is the kind of parts she was offered at each stage of her career or simply how she has been pigeonholed at various points in her life. So, each chapter begins with the kind of description given at casting calls to indicate the character one is auditioning for. When young she is expected to be a typical bimbo, when older a ‘desperate cougar’ and when older still a ‘hag’.
She doesn’t name many names. Perhaps she fears libel actions, perhaps she has signed Non Disclosure Agreements, or perhaps the incidents have been rearranged a little to tell a good story. I don’t know but the effect of that anonymity is that some powerful punches don’t land quite as heavily as they should.
Some are named, or near as dammit. Not surprisingly Jim Davidson doesn’t emerge well but more disappointingly we learn (if we didn’t already know) that some of our favourite alternative comedians are not alternative enough to allow women to be more than stereotypes and feeds for their egotistical humour.
Ricky Gervais (from ‘Planet Ego’) thought Smack The Pony’s women should build the show around him. A famous artist who dresses in women’s clothes (I wonder who that could be?) tells her: I had a very filthy dream about you. Many men have been brought up to think of women purely in sexual terms: it is sobering to see the debilitating effect of this quotidian sexism from a female perspective.
On TV through the 80s and 90s, the world of comedy was dominated by men. Her ideas for series are turned down, apparently because French & Saunders already fill the quota for female comedy.
As Ms Mackichan points out, while we may have moved on a little, the position of women in the workplace and society in general has not improved as much as we might hope.
Since this book was written earlier in 2023, we have read descriptions of the behaviour of some of today’s male comedians, triggered by the accusations made against Russell Brand, and witnessed the appalling attitude towards women expressed by Laurence Fox and broadcast by GB News.
It’s not until about half way through the book, when we get to Smack The Pony, that Ms Mackichan gives us the kind of behind-the-scenes insight that I personally find fascinating. This look at the mechanics of making a TV comedy show- the clashes, the fear, the panic, the pressures, the exhilaration- is an illustration of just how good a storyteller she is.
Another vivid description is of the time she swam the English Channel as part of a relay team. You feel you could have been there as she describes the fear and exhaustion of being in an unreadable sea in the middle of nowhere with a seeming infinity of water below, yet she resolutely ploughs on.
There are a couple of other electric chapters in the book when she describes in detail her emotional turmoil. One is when her child becomes seriously ill. Her pain is palpable. The other is during the run of Boeing-Boeing in which she has agreed to appear because she desperately needs the money. (This book is a reminder that the life of a freelance actor is extremely precarious.) Her description of the heroic way she pulled herself through those four months while having a breakdown is gut-wrenching.
I don’t doubt a lot of people she’s worked with will have labelled her awkward over the years. She has strong ideas about what she should be required to do in auditions, and there are many things she refuses to do when rehearsing and performing. In particular, she acknowledges that she might be put down as an ‘awkward prude’, because she steadfastly refuses to appear naked. She is only too aware that such scenes, even if the nudity is justified (and often it’s purely for titillation), can be taken out of context on porn websites and even tabloid newspapers. Neddless to say, over the years, male nudity has tended to be far less revealing than female.
Black and white photo portrait of Doon Mackichan
Photo: Ben Meadows

The difficulties she has experienced when pregnant or needing childcare remind us that so much of the legislation that goes some way to support women in the workplace is hard to enforce in the world of jobbing actors.

There are interesting passages on her experience of directors, good and bad. She believes that directors should work with her, guiding her and trusting her skills, rather than tell her exactly what to do and how to say her lines. Or enforcing so many takes that all life is squeezed out of a scene.
Undoubtedly, she has lost work because of her principles. She records numerous occasions when she herself has turned down jobs. She does understand that other women may bite their tongue when they experience bad behaviour, because they need the money or they fear speaking out might affect their career. She admits to doing it herself occasionally but she is greatly to be admired, in my opinion, for largely sticking to her guns.
In this book, Ms Mackichan makes an impassioned plea not only for more female comedy writers and performers to be given a chance on TV, film and in theatre, but for more stories by and about women; and for women to choose to be themselves, not conform to a certain male fantasy. She is such a good role model for young women entering show business that, I suggest, reading My Lady Parts should be included in courses at drama schools.
This is an angry, at times polemic book, and justifiably so. I would still argue that it could have been leavened with a bit more humour, but her description of her fight against a toxic male industry and her personal triumphs in adversity make My Lady Parts an inspiring read.

My Lady Parts is published by Canongate and is out now.

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Paul Nicholas: Musicals, Marigolds & Me – review

A story of an impressive showbiz career


★★★
Cover of book Musicals Marigolds And Me by Paul NicholasIf you’re fascinated by show business, you’ll definitely want Musicals, Marigolds & Me, the new autobiography by Paul Nicholas, in your Christmas stocking.

He’s already given us one slice of his life back in 1999, so his latest contribution concentrates on his career as opposed to his personal life, and in particular brings up to date with his 21st century life producing shows, touring in musicals, and his newfound stardom as one of the inhabitants of TV’s Real Marigold Hotel.

Since the latter is what many people now know him for, Paul sensibly starts with a few stories about his experiences on the programme, which I’m sure will amuse the show’s many fans. I haven’t seen the show but this did tempt me to watch it.

The most interesting part of the book, for me anyway, is the behind-the-scenes story of what it’s like to be a producer. In particular, his greatest successes Grease and Saturday Night Fever.

During my time in theatre management, I worked with Paul on a number of occasions and his book is very like himself: he rarely boasts, he doesn’t upset anybody, and he keeps most of his life private. And this is where the book falls down a bit. You get very little sense of what it feels like to be a star or to be in the middle of the world of show business.

After many little stories about making the Marigold programmes, there are also very few anecdotes about the rest of his career. And when he does come up with a story, he doesn’t exaggerate or add comedy, as some would, to make them more memorable. He certainly doesn’t reveal any secrets, sticking religiously to the unwritten rule that what happens backstage stays backstage. I’m not saying I was looking for juicy scandals and salacious gossip, just some colourful stories about the people and things that happened behind the scenes.

We learn about his progress in the world of pop music which included some chart hits, and touring with the likes of Screamin’ Lord Sutch and Del Shannon and The Who. I mean, how can you tour with The Who and not have a colourful story or two? Has he really nothing to report on meeting David Bowie beyond ‘he didn’t strike me as a happy-go-lucky person’?

When he embarks on his lengthy career as a musicals performer which includes starring roles in the original London productions of Jesus Christ Superstar and Cats. This section of the book reads like a Wikipedia entry: I did this, then I did that; I met this person then I met that person. Even though you may not get much feeling for what the life or even the people were like, you do see how show business works, and Paul shares some of what he has learned. For example, ‘ If you try and short-change the public, they will catch you out.’

When he gets into producing, the book goes up a gear. He is rightly proud of his achievement in this field, including two outstanding West End musicals Grease and Saturday Night Fever. It started in 1990, when he teamed up with David Ian to put together a touring production of the Joseph Papp version of The Pirates Of Penzance. There are many insights into the difficulties of raising money, casting and marketing (I never knew he was responsible for the iconic Grease logo).

When he had the idea of reviving Grease in 1993, he dumped the original theatre show and transformed it into a stage version of the film by incorporating new songs that featured in the movie. It proved immensely popular, especially with young people.

In 1998, he co-produced the first stage version of Saturday Night Fever. The details of his contribution to making the show the success it was, from the original idea to stage the show, the negotiations with Robert Stigwood who owned the rights, his rewriting of the script, his discovery and mentoring of the leading man Adam Garcia, the difficult decision to invest his own money, will fascinate anyone who is interested in the business side of show business.

But still no juicy gossip. After his huge success as a co-producer of Saturday Night Fever in the West End, it’s clear he was annoyed that Robert Stigwood went on to produce the show on Broadway without him. But he continues to talk well of him. I think part of the reason may be that Paul is a very nice man who genuinely doesn’t want to be unkind to anybody, even someone no longer with us.

One thing that emerges very clearly from his book is the basis of his success. He is of course talented, but so are many entertainers. He is certainly good looking and charming, and he has a good stage presence. He was a born singer but he had to learn to act, and to dance. Although he was never the greatest at any of these, what he did do was work hard. He is a supreme example of the saying that success is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. His work rate is hugely impressive. For Singin’ In The Rain, he had to learn to dance well enough to play a role made famous by Gene Kelly. When he starred as Barnum, he learned juggling, unicycling, trampolining and tightrope walking. He certainly deserves his success.

Paul displays his gentle sense of humour, as when he says that, even as an old man, he still has fans, including a stalker. ‘I just have to walk very slowly,’ he writes.

And that’s typical of Paul Nicholas. It is no surprise that he is growing old gracefully. By dint of talent, determination and hard work, he has had an impressive career, but all with good grace and self effacement. And that’s what you get in his latest autobiography.

Musicals, Marigolds & Me is published by Fantom Publishing

Paul was given a copy of the e-book to review

Watch this review on the YouTube channel One Minute Theatre Reviews

 

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